I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize