I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
