you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
How's work?
Spinning.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
