I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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