If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
worst night to have a conscience
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Randomize
