Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
