just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Randomize
