Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
