I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
