someone threw a dead crab at me
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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