hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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