so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Randomize
