Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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