What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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