I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i think i have herpe
just one?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
