he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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