her vagine was all disorganized.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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