New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
