Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
