you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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