I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
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