I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
