was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
