TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
