woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Randomize
