how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Randomize