I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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