Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
