I want to stick my p in your. b.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
