my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
