Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
