Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
What changed your mind?
Being sober
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
