Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Randomize