i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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