And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he fucked my hip out of place.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
