I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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