ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
