remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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