your parents love me but you hate me
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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