Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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