i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
