My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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