and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
