I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
