Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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