worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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