Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
