And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Randomize
