Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
