I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
