You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
