toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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