Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
