okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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