You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
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