I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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