For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
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