when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
