At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
