If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Randomize
