who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
